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@fluffytimearts first comment. Immediately I see "sounds like she was an illegal immigrant".
I'm Australian. I'd love to go to America, fascinating culture and people. I'm not, because the current government appears to be kidnapping legal. Fully proper processed people, y'know.
I've heard rumours about entire swathes of families panicking, just. Like.
One guy on the subway during my fucking holiday, I see texts like "what do you mean she's gone?"
Didn't mean to read it, but that's like. The ninth time I've seen that. Mildly concerning, I don't mention it to anyone because then I sound like I'm crazy.
I mean, I am. But that doesn't mean I'm legally or medically detached from reality.
I'd say, as an Australian who wants to visit America under a tourism visa. I'm not going.
I'm not being kidnapped by your government to fill out some bullshit quota to make you lot feel better about electing him.
Now you might say all kinds of shit about how I'm a liar, I'm a moron and etc etc for spreading lies or whatever.
To which I respond. Fuck. You.
Regardless of what you feel, because I'm just expressing my stupid ass opinion. It's probably not correct and it's definitely not helpful. But I'm expressing it in a country where that right of speech. Doesn't really exist.
I'm not saying anything good or bad, I'm just not fucking gong to America for the next. Decade? Just based of how the current present acts and does his shit.
Side from that, Americans. Buckle down, you're probably gonna go through a rough patch and if you voted for him. Remember, you asked for this. You wanted this, even if you're unscathed, I can see that millions will die and suffer just from what's occured.
The world's waking up to the titan that America had become, God if I know what's gonna happen next. But I've seen enough people break down to know we're going for a break.
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You produce your most spirited LAD SCRAMBLE yet, and hop up to the next GOD TIER, achieving the illustrious REVENGE OF DOCTOR RAGNAROK. All of your vitals go completely bonkers. Your MAN GRIT is off the charts. You're embarrassed for us to even know what it is. It's that gaudy.
Remember when I described the God Tiers as 'less silly' than the Echeladder's levels?
...yeah. I should have known that wasn't going to last long.
You put forth your best LASS SCAMPER of all time, and clear another sweet GOD TIER, the nigh-unattainable SAYONARA KANSAS.
For Jade, these tiers are essentially meaningless now. She's the First Guardian of Earth, and wields powers far greater than the paltry parlor tricks of an ascended Sburb Player.
Jade's not a God Tier - She's a god.
Nobody should ever mess with you. Not even me.
And Hussie knows it.
You don't get boondollars anymore. That shit is for babies now. Instead, you are finally ready to have your first ACHIEVEMENT BADGE sewn on to your KIDDIE CAMPER HANDYSASH! You each receive the badge GIFT OF GAB, enabling you to engage in simple, direct dialogue with others, without requiring any gimmicks to facilitate communication. You don't need to type through a chat client, or talk to a sprite, or traverse through a memory in a dream bubble, or wander around in an interactive game environment, or any of that stuff. You seriously never thought you would live to see this achievement unlocked. It almost feels like cheating.
Getting a little sick of that restriction, eh, Hussie?
Sufficiently advanced Players are allowed to break the rules of the comic, a concept which is brimming with potential. Next thing you know, they'll be picking up objects without a Sylladex, naming their children before they're thirteen, or violating the sanctity of the alpha timeline wait what was that last one
A verbal conversation, with no Pesterchum handles in sight. This really does feel like a milestone, and it's incredibly funny (and on-brand) that we needed a Prestige Class to unlock it.
Also... this is decidedly not a three-millisecond journey. Just how long are they stuck here?
JADE: im not sure! JADE: some sort of limbo dimension between the two walls i guess JADE: like a realm with unusual spatial properties we have to cross through
Jade, for her part, is not aware of the metacanonical implications of this little trip. I think it was Scratch who first told her about the Fourth Wall, and it's clear he made a few tactical omissions concerning its true nature.
JOHN: we escaped the scratch? JOHN: like, we still exist and everything? JADE: yes! JADE: we still totally exist john JOHN: ok, just making sure. JOHN: i still felt pretty existy, but you never know.
A pertinent question, considering where they are.
Technically, they might be more real than they were before, since they've left the fictional medium(!) of their reality.
JOHN: i mean, we crashed through that giant window you magically made with witch powers to escape the scratch, so we can keep existing, right? JADE: yes JADE: i didnt make it with witch powers though, i captchalogued it hours ago because karkat told me to…
Wait, but wasn't it Future Jade who told Karkat to do that?
It certainly sounds like it was - and the current, post-session Jade should already be older than any 'future' Jade who talked to Karkat during the session.
By now, Jade should know why she arranged for herself to grab the Wall - but she's acting like she only did it because Karkat told her to. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what she's saying.
JOHN: did you at least make it huge with witch powers? JADE: i did make it huge with witch powers! JOHN: so i guess that's what witch powers do, is make things huge? JADE: they also make things small JOHN: right, like you did with all those planets. JADE: yup JADE: also JADE: witch powers can teleport things, and fling things around through space at very high velocities JADE: all sorts of stuff! JADE: but to be honest, im not sure how much of that is attributable to inheriting becs abilities…
All of it, actually.
The only thing Bec didn't do was fling an object around at a high velocity...
...until you remember he did this, which absolutely counts.
So far, nothing Jade's done has been through her God Tier abilities. She's so powerful that her status as the Witch of Space is completely, utterly superfluous.
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Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation
Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'
....
So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...
....
It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.
#VERY VERY INTERESTING STUFF#also fuck evan this guy is so annoying he KEPT interrupting her through her whole segment and then smiled all condescending like#'what about the money you idiot woman'#and it's like YES the money IS a good point#this could easily all just be talk from tee and ja'marr#because tee DOES deserve all the money he can get#he DOES also deserve the chance at being WR1 if that's what he wants#(he has always done well as WR1 when ja'marr is out/hurt)#so like yes. those are important caveats.#that can definitely be talking points without evan's annoying ass comments and interruptions and looks#(like dude are you not also just some sideline reporter? no need to act like you're better than aditi. BUT WHATEVER)#very interesting considerations! that tee is aware of all the good of his current situation#and may not want to change it at all??#again. could just be saying shit. actions speak louder than words and all that#but the action of dropping your agent (who has the BEST track record of getting guaranteed money) only to go to the agent of the guy#who the front office is going to try to leverage your negotiations against#is like. well. that feels very very deliberate!!#that these two are going to put up a united front. to try to do their best to stay together AND get paid.#which sounds too good to be true tbh!#and then ja'marr comparing his relationship with justin and his relationship with tee!!#both important relationships! both beautiful connections!#and like. justin and ja'marr NEEDED that kind of relationship in college#one of support and competition. pushing each other to be their best. so that they could come into the league#and break all these records almost immediately#and then now a more settled relationship with tee. calmer softer maybe.#that post about how important relationships that let you REST are#man. man. i could go on forever about all of this but this is already too much!!!#tee higgins#ja'marr chase#cincinnati bengals
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...you know with a fandom that has lasted 30 years I'm sure I'm not saying anything new here, but 'right after his best friend from when he was thirteen (who he newly reunited with and asked to sleep over at his apartment. For Reasons) seemingly flicked his nipple (!!???? mark I have questions) to set him up for a prank and then cupped the back of his neck with rough affection in a deeply homoerotic way' sure is an incredibly specific moment for the camera to deny us access to fraser's expression fhksjafhas
(especially with the pattern over the many many times we see a woman hitting on him where his face will be clearly visible, with his expression placidly (one could be forgiven for starting to suspect tactically) uncomprehending/confused or uncomfortable. though we see him speak of specifically victoria for the first time turned away from the camera -- from behind, and only getting the faint reflection of his face in the window, to much the same effect. I think I might be on to something here.)
#I am definitely going to be looking out for that all over the place now haha. what does it mean. what does it MEAN#due south#benton fraser#listen actual overt queer rep is of course a good thing for us to have now. many MANY things sucked about how it used to be#we should not go back there. it was a dark time. how quickly some of us forget now that we have a wealth of things to choose from#but it used to be you had to suffer through things like the SGA episode 'the shrine' which is an amazing episode but ends#with the most intelligence-insulting no-homo inserted heterosexuality bullshit you've ever seen. and you just had to take it#you just had to grin and bear it. children I tell you those were dark days and we must not return to them#BUT we used to get some absolutely insane shit when the love dared not yet speak its name on network tv that's hard to match#we must put this amount of Texture and Insane-Making Implications into our current day queer fiction#we have to level up our sublimation game I think that's partly what makes the locked tomb so powerful#this show is incredible at the queercoding not queerbaiting balance honestly. probably because it takes even its silly characters#so seriously and so rarely surrenders even an inch to meanspiritness#(can't believe we had an episode with a whole kink club in it and I didn't flinch even once. i wasn't even worried I'd have to flinch#at any point. such is the acceptance and generosity of the tone we're working with here the majority of the time)#and then of course the riding off into the sunset together ending does cement all of that definitely at the end#for which I am very grateful haha#'I'm still proud (of you)' is such an INCREDIBLY kind and extremely fraser thing to say to mark in that moment tho. what the fuck
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Since I mostly write short oneshots there is often zero planning involved, maybe a few sentences or a list of things I wanna include if we are going into 2k+ words territory.
For longfics/multichapters I usually have a planning document (or a few), a "published" document (I tend to post right after the new chapter is finished, no schedule, no waiting while the while fic is done, nothing) which includes all chapters that are finished and are public, and a draft document (usually just the next chapter, might include a few random future scenes after a strike if inspiration).
Now, published + draft has been done in LibreOffice recently, previously I've used MS Word. The planning document(s)... honestly, whatever floats my boat that day. For some of the currently started/planned projects I have:
* a messy word doc: outline, quotes from the original media where I want to keep track of specific details or character voices, a page or two of backstory that idk yet how I'm going to nicely embed into the actual prose, probably some other shit
* an excel doc because I wanted to track the days/scenes in more structured format
* a messy notion page with patches of the outline and some tarot cards meaning in between (that was my desperate attempt to brainstorm the middle of the fic through a tarot spread)
* a very detailed worldbuilding section with character profiles, worldbuilding info, character's weekly schedule, calendar, and a giant scenes table. It's half abandoned and I haven't touched it in a year
But my notion pages are very organised! XD
PS for pre-planning ao3 tags, I usually use project's page I have in my WIPs kanban board - just as a simple list of additional tags. For works posted for one specific event, where I'm uploading works on ao3 on behalf of other people too, I have a more sophisticated template for all tag categories, so I can just copypaste all the necessary information when posting.
hello writers.
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reading gideon the ninth:
reading harrow the ninth:
#htn#tlt#everything has gone from like. 50 to 1000#like sure there were things going on before and I had to pay attention#but now I have to pay ATTENTION#like okay. okay harrow is 'remembering' that there was a sleeper or whatever#and there was a 2 hander with it. under it. okay. okay so what does that mean#and this 'body'#which for some reason she's continuously hallucinating?#and the whole thing with the letters and ianthe#i'm trying to parse through everything but I don't know how much I can figure out and how much is explained#by context and events I simply haven't been told about yet#so it would be fruitless to surmise because I quite literally can't know yet. missing pieces#based on current knowledge my assumption is that for some reason harrow has retroactively altered her memories#for an unknown purpose#because ianthe's 'who? oh the cavalier' at the beginning leads me to believe she recalls gideon just fine. and that gideon was in fact real#though there's something going on with her#well yeah no shit she's disappeared straight up#not like disappeared like gone missing but she's straight up been erased from the story like she doesn't exist#except for these tiny mentions#of a two hander#which also brings to question the importance of a reader in a story#but that's a whole other can of worms#the point is I have to pay so much more attention now#i love it I love being confused (genuinely)#the first book was fine but it wasn't like this#anyway. harrows the fucked up scrunkle cat of the group and I'm endlessly amused by it
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im so so tired jsjdhbj an engineering employers panel just scared me half to death with their startups and innovation and investment and passion commitment linkedin networking etc etc etc i hate it here
#i can't do it#this kind of thing is not meant for people like me#i came here and suffered through it to get myself some niche skills so that the kind of person i am doesn't matter#but i attend an employers panel and they're saying that they don't want your skills#they want you as a person#you need to be networking and making connections within the industry and building soft skills AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i can't do this i'm genuinely too disabled#should have been a vet fr#i don't want to move to cambridge and work in startups until i decide to do a phd and go straight back to [current redacted uni] i canttt#need to get a job and then find something to live for but unfortunately for me#those two things are separate#yet i'm in the field of people who act like they're not#ksjhgdcksjd i don't understand why it can't be about the work#and why it has to be about me#times like this when i want someone to take charge of my life entirely. which is a really bad thing to want#but at the same time i can't deal with it alone#and that's what i am right now !!#tangent on this rant but my dad should theoretically be great to have around to help since he's also an engineer#should be great in general tbh. i have a dad isn't that cool#but he doesn't really love me#and hasn't for a long time#yet i am completely reliant on him#and if anything goes wrong - which it easily could in my current state - my mum can't support me#hgjvsfdtycu;ioakljshdgvfctjyulaisdkjchg that's enough of that sorry#what a shit day#started so nice and went down like a lead balloon
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so do the rest of you guys just simplify your dreams when explaining them to people or do I just remember a significantly weirder degree of depth than the average bear
#thinking about shit like this every morning when i wake up after like#spending the past however many hours in part of a high stakes cop drama that takes place in the pokemon world#but my pokemon is actually an elder scrolls character pretending to be a weird rare pokemon because it's easier than passing as human#and the fair we are trying to get through is down a dirt road alley that's also a depressingly empty polynesian farmers market#and we gotta go fast because my irl friend who's with us really wants to have a mantine draped over his shoulders like when he was a kid#but then we find out that the mantine encounter was at the aquarium next to the fair and not the fair itself and he just misremembered#so he's all sad while we're riding go karts and dirtbikes because he doesn't get to play with the mantines#but anyway we were here for the cop drama bit because some teenage girl got assaulted and we need to beat up the perp's pokemon#(perp himself has already been bagged)#and now I'm realizing that I don't know what fake pokemon moves to tell my fake “pokemon” to use#(he's a daedric prince it's not like he'd listen to me anyway he's about to obliterate the fuck outta this sunflora no matter what I say)#which leads me to wondering why I can't think of a decent steel-type pokemon move similar to slash#(“metal claw only works if you have claws” I think to myself wondering why there isn't some kind of sword move like ffs honedge exists)#anyway he's already finished the fight so it doesn't matter we can go home back through the depressing farmers market#home is aboard a KotoR-esque spaceship of course which is good because it means I get “back at camp” dialog with my daedra friend#but he's gone now shit fuck where did he go is he killing people without me this is bad I leave and start walking through crowded streets#people are trying to sell me shit but I ignore them#I'm accosted by a guy dressed like an old-west outlaw who says that he's with the vigil of stendarr and he's here hunting daedra#I tell him to fuck off because honestly I'm no longer invested in this dream's narrative arc#(I'm trying to envision a different scenario that is more appealing to my current tastes but lucid dreaming was a lie and I can't hack it)#then I wake up#next night I dream about being an omnipotent dragon god with a marsupial pouch full of my adopted babies (JJK characters)
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I have an intimate truth to share: I think Sunday would be a very cute name for a shoni baby who lives on a farm with her two moms. Sunday Shalifoe??? They could call her Sunny!! C’mon it writes itself!! And if she looked just like Shelby?? The material is there!! 😭😭😭
#also I think the idea of the B-side of the wilds (s3-4) taking place in the future and flashing back to the bunker and post-bunker times#would’ve been very interesting if like shoni are together living on a farm with their little baby having this happy private life only to be#dragged back into drama with the rest of the girls who maybe they haven’t seen or spoken to in sometime all because of Gretchen finally#being caught and them having to go to court and we learn through the flashbacks that shoni lost touch but reconnected some time after being#for real rescued and and flashbacks that go a little further back reveal that maybe Shelby kept quiet about something or helped Gretchen ge#away or simply as a reward for not saying something to the fbi back when they were rescued Gretchen gives Shelby Toni’s information which i#the whole catalyst and reason they were able to reconnect and it puts a big strain on their current relationship when it’s revealed cuz#Toni thot their reunion was one of genuine chance like the universe randomly bringing them back together but turns out that’s not true bc#Shelby clearly sought her out and then ofc through flashbacks that go all the way back to bunker times it’s revealed Shelby was working as#confederate which is just another thing she lied to Toni and the others about and right when you really think shits going sideways and thei#marriage is going to implode from all this there’s ANOTHER dramatic reveal which is like the real reasons behind Shelby agreeing to be a#confederate which probably have something to do with Martha and the court case or Toni’s mom or something in the vein and Toni realizes tha#Shelby did it for her/to protect her and then shoni is back on baybeee cuz that’s her baby mama frfr!!!!!#the wilds#long winded and full of holes but that’s all I got#toni shalifoe#goodfoe#shelby x toni#shoni#shelby goodkind#Toni x Shelby#shoni baby
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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look at me and tell me im mentally okay, i dare you
(this is from my carrd for discord,,, haha im okay prommy, at least rn ^^)
((also also,,, the tags is just me rambling, apologies))
#im pretty sure??? the most okay mentally out of all of them is alhaitham??? from what i recall#he seems pretty content with life man idk#hes been through some shit yeah#but hes doing alright#kaeya has his thing as khaenriahn#kaveh literally prioritizes everyone except himself#fremmy is literally in a fatui orphanage#which is made to create child spies??? dont quote me on that tho#i havent finished sumeru aq#furina literally has been suffering in silence for 500 years and only just got freed#basil and sunny... have you SEEN them??#v (jihyun) too like what#alhaitham literally is just chilling#content with his roommate his peace his books#is he still acting grand sage like currently?#because that might one of the few things he isnt content with#hm last we saw kaveh tho was with the interdarshan event#and he looks like hes gonna go the right path?#its been a while since i played it tho so i dont recall#even then... that was because of alhaitham#i dont have access to kaeya's hangout too so i dont know what he's currently like#but he also seems to be getting better?#ragbros look like theyre slowly getting along and kaeya seems to be absolute in choosing mond from what ive seen or atleast remember seeing#but then again both kaveh and kaeya seem to just be starting their healing?#please dont quote me on ANYTHING im saying#im going off memory of things ive seen that couldve easily been manipulated by the poster#firefly/tofu ramblings#but its just me rambling in the tags
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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#i carried a printout of this around with me in my bag as a teenager bc i was a big dork#to be clear it was the pumpkins of whom i was such a fan and not billy specifically#besides being a terribly obnoxious cringelord going through a christian phase he was also terrifically up his own ass about his bad poetry#and he was always being a dick about/to people who use drugs which is a very bad look imo so i was not exactly a billy fan#so i don't know why this stupid thing was so important to me#i think i was grieving the fact that all my favorite bands broke up before i was old enough to see them live but who knows#tbh i think teenage reasoning is mostly a mystery to everyone. no one can explain their thought process from age 15.#even current 15 year olds seem to be pretty clueless and generally at the mercy of their own brains#when i think of being 15 i recall a lot of chaos and confusion and a vague but constant rage toward everything in general#but picses iscariot does rock. those songs hold up and so does gish. just sayin.#this has been a boring post about some shit i liked too much as a teenager that i bet you wish you'd just ignored at this point#follow for more boring content about my personal life likely to make you reevaluate the ways in which you spend your time#pastlife#smashing pumpkins
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CALENDULA NAGISA I GOT CALENDULA NAGISAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
#made me change the card in my profile from the maid tsubaki one#which has been there for… months and months now? before she was my blog header here#and i know i replaced that header when the ynk cover mv came out and that was five months ago. so yeah#anyways! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#had to grind for that last ten pull (it took eighty in total) which made me be relatively high on the current event top#considering the wild competition that seems to be happening. the battle live rooms are like always full#anyways time to now go and work some more on getting the other nagisa’s card in the other rhythm game. that unbloomed might be one of my#favorites. great story moment too cant wait to read it voiced#(was just gonna go skip through the whole thing for dia and then realized that oh shit this is voiced i gotta reread it then#but this is not about any of that! this is about calendula nagisa! my first groovyfes card btw!#also abt me tricking non gurumikuers into believing that there is a canon they them character in this game lmao#kori plays d4dj
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good god its really hitting me that im on my 7th yakuza game. and i started only like. three months ago
#I have. a problem#for reference that’s y0 yk1 yk2 y3 y4 dead souls and I’m currently on y5#and I’m on my third playthrough of y0 cause of the whole platinuming thing and whatnot#tbh at some point I’ll probably go back to a lot of them to complete more substories and whatever else I missed cause some of them I played#through relatively quickly but yeah#other than y0. which. boy have I played the shit out of everything in that fucking game. I know it like the back of my fucking hand#at this point. i know So Much. if you ever need help/advice on y0 I am your guy#rambling
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yes it does, your parents are ususally the first people who force you into this kind of behaviour or at least that's why my therapist told me when I asked why that's such a girl thing.
OOF
(original text from article by devon price)
#like my parents always expected me to do more chores and more frequently compared to my older brother because I'm a girl#and if I didn't do them or do them to their liking their would be punishment#and if anything in our household was going wrong I had to be the emotional mediator even as a kid#all of which are situations in which the main goal is to please everyone so they won't get mad and punish you in some way#and once that's in your system it carries over to everything else#like because I had a bit of a growth spurt in primary school before everyone else I was almost kind of expected to “co-parent” the other#kids around me simply because I was like two heads taller than all of them even tho I was one of the youngest#and now in my current friendgroup everyone constantly expects me to manage one of my guy friends depression for him#they will actively notice he is doing bad and rather than talking to him himself they first go to me in dms and tell me to go talk to him#not even ask just “hey he's doing shit again you need to talk to him”#and I kept actually doing that for many years until I had a mental breakdown at the beginning of the year about it#because the vast majority of my friendgroup are guys and they always expect me to evaluate and manage their emotions and trauma for them#and I told them pretty clearly that if they do that shit again I will simply delete them from my life I have since gotten rid of 4 people#and now because I am breaking that established pleasing motherly care role I was forced into I am the asshole to everyone and#apparently going through my villain era#sorry for the trauma dump but I feel like a lot of girls with autism can relate to this#or at least it feels like a lot should because even my therapist knew this is a common thing so it has to be like REAL REAL common
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